we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
