I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
