You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Oh god it's open bar.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
