I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
