i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
