theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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