Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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