I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
if only i could text you this smell
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
