Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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