Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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