I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
