I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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