I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
