playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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