so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
