I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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