omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
