The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
