Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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