ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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