i may or may not be watching the land before time
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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