Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
