he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
