he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
