so let's talk penis.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Dicks are not precious.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
