I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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