I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
