Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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