Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
