weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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