I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
