North Korea, Best Korea!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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