I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
