Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
