You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
