im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize