"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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