I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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