Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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