Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
