My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
