I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
