id be glad to
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
