Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
