yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize