I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
