You work out of a Hotel?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
