one two three fourrrrnication!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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