we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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