If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
