Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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