Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
