my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
