capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
