Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
