real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
