In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
