She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
