There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
