why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
