I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
