I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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