I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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