i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We left the knife in your bed.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
